Albejorn’s* BIG Update, June 2022

Albejorn looks down at the camera from above

I have a fair bit to say that I haven’t felt I’ve been able to talk about, due to ongoing legal issues. This is, believe it or not, the Cliff Notes. XD

If you want to skip to the good news, jump down to 30 Days of My Life Completely Changing. 🙂

Getting Divorced 2019-2022

I was married for 25 years, in a very… unhealthy relationship (no, really… codependency, gaslighting, outright deception, clinical neglect, and… worse). The relationship itself ended just before COVID hit, and I’ve been trying to get actual paperwork signed ever since. Instead, it’s been a very messy divorce for the last 3 years. Thank goodness the kids are all adults!

Since this was all an ongoing legal battle, I couldn’t really talk about anything publicly.

On top of that, I lived in fear that my ex would make the process even worse if I showed any weakness at all (DARVO: if you’ve lived it, I’m so sorry… god, even writing this now, with contracts signed, I’m scared to hit submit). So I kept my struggles out of the public light. I’d share bits with friends to find support, but I was stuck in this situation with no way out but through.

I had a lawyer that sucked so bad he got out of family law and ditched his clients… and he had never forwarded communications with opposing council! I had to start from scratch this January, after nearly two years. I joke I should sue him for malpractice… and I hope he represents himself. 🙃

But… yeah. While I’ve been trying my best to be Lawful Good, my ex did stuff like pulling our adult kids into the process and causing a rift between them and me, and not responding to any of my 8 offers to try to wrap this up. They ran out the clock on the first court appointment, which meant it’d be 36 months before we could be seen by a judge to compel responses. Finances were stretched crazy tight keeping two households running all on my own… at times my monthly net salary covered half my rent, and we burned through our life savings.

I’ll go ahead and say they probably have formed a different perspective? We haven’t been able to talk through this process.

Oh man, and the opposing council was watching my expenses like a hawk. I had to provide hundreds of pages of documents, and they’d go over every transaction asking me to justify anything over $200 (including my own attorney’s fees and rent). It felt like 3 years of harassment, especially with the lack of any counter offers.

Divorce alone was extremely unpleasant. But that wasn’t all.

Other Isolations of 2020-2022

There were glimmers of hope, before COVID hit. I had the chance to have a few friends over to my apartment.

It was the first time I had someone over… in literally over a decade.

Not only was it challenging to have friends over during the entire relationship, in the final two years of marriage my ex had removed all physical affection. I could get a hug once or twice a month (their arms at the side, never being held). I was isolated at home: Furry conventions were the only place I could get physical affection.

But now I was free! I had my own place! I had plans to have fursuit cuddle parties and watch movies. To have gatherings in the apartment building’s party room!

And then COVID hit.

I had to isolate hardcore due to my hyperactive immune system. So I was living alone with no podmates to connect with.

Aaaaand my car blew up 3 months into COVID (engine self-destructed and it’s a write-off). I tried getting a replacement, and it blew a head gasket two weeks later, which was further isolating. I don’t want to bother people, so… I did the best I could. Thank you, so much, to the friend who read between the lines and drove out in my darkest hour to whisk me away for midnight IHOP.

Oh yeah, and I began my transition MtF Friday the 13th, December 2019, just before lockdown, so I was going through a lot of changes… alone. 🙃

Talk about turning on life’s hard-mode.

Coupled with it all, there were two, months-long bouts of serotonin imbalance, caused by two different supplements. That generated pretty intense levels of depression, deeper than I already had, that were challenging to survive.

I mentioned it’s been an interesting couple of years? XD

I like to think we have a lot of resilience, but the cost to survive the last five years… well, it broke us in several ways (just one of which was the development of non-disassasociative multiple personalities, a “plurality system” I can go into in another post).

Thank god for VRChat!! I have an alt account there I spend a craaazy amount of time dancing for a variety of exotic clubs under, it’s gotten me very fit! It genuinely saved our lives. I became a very good dancer, and I’ve become athletic, and I can help people improve their craft as a dance instructor… I’m really enjoying this body!

30 Days of My Life Completely Changing

But, OH MY GOD. The last thirty days have been a WHIRLWIND. Something happened in the universe, and my life is changing all at once.

At AnthroNW, I got COVID, and I survived. I did have long covid for about a month, but I’m back to about 80% of where I was before. I don’t have to live in fear of the cytokine storm any longer! God, so much anxiety over that possibility… I should write an entire post just on my protocols for returning from outside: it’d take 30-50 minutes just to return from checking the mail (yes, I let my OCD do its thing and protect me this time).

Last month I was managed out of the job I created from scratch 11 years ago. They didn’t need an architect or big thinker, just a drone that could knock out predefined reports. My boss recognized the disconnect, and recommended I go join the new cybersecurity team. I’m working on such fascinating problems, and I have a lead that’s excited about what I do. WIN/WIN!

I had injured myself dancing too hard in January, straining my Achilles tendon. As of this week, I’ve finally graduated from physical therapy! Not to mention how very fit I’ve become with all the VR dancing. I lost a bit to COVID, but I’m regaining my stamina and strength.

AND THE DIVORCE IS FINALLY DONE!

The first day of the BLFC last week, I spent in downtown Reno in a divorce mediation call. Oh, I could write an entire post about that. And about the celebration of BLFC itself. 😀

We ended so fast: My lawyer said she’s never seen a refund from the mediator before. She also said she’s never seen a client so happy (mediation’s usually about both parties getting the suckiest option they’ll agree to).

Don’t get me wrong, I am left with all of the high-interest debt (and a few big loans). Everything’s been maxed as I juggled to keep us afloat and not lose the house, so I’m working on a pay-down plan to get me in the black.

But new chapters are finally beginning. I suppose I’ve always wanted to embrace minimalism, this is my chance.

Oh. My. GodI get my legal name change! I’ve been deadnamed for years, because I thought I’d make the ‘amicable’ divorce go smoother by just changing the name as part of the divorce, and avoid confusion with mortgages if the name change was happening in the midst of transferring loans, etc. I’ve asked that we file paperwork in July, so I can celebrate my rebirth on July 4th. FREEDOM!

Impact to Events

Soooo, I don’t have much day-to-day liquidity for stuff like down-payments to reserve a freakin’ pirate ship or two. 😅

I need to take at least one more month or so to get back on my feet. I have a LOT of paperwork I’m trying to get done before the name change would throw fraud alerts around. And then changing your name is an entire ordeal all on its own.

Starting in August (or even September), the events I run will need to be a bit more on the affordable side: I’m going to focus on local gatherings at my Redmond apartment party room, and the nearby grass park.

Once I can get a working car, we can add in Seattle public suiting events like the Suiting On The Boardwalk I started out with!

Finally, when I get the credit situation under control… I can start working on the ticketed events.

Unfortunately the company with the open-air trolley didn’t make it through COVID, but I’m keeping my eye open for other options.

Summary

I’ve missed you all. I’ve missed having fun times together. I can’t wait to getting back to wonderful and hella-unique adventures with you all. I’m overwhelmed at the moment as life suddenly lurches into gear, after spending 3 years in neutral just trying to coast and survive.

Now… now I think I may just be able to thrive.

Thanks for sticking around!

Sincerely,
-Albejorn*

* You know, I’m not sure I’m going to keep the name Albejorn? I’ve had the name for 26 years. One reason I’ve not been suiting is that the suit isn’t… me anymore. Gonna think more about this. I dunno… been thinking hard about everything.

Truth is, life’s too short if something isn’t sitting right: Think deep about it, and make a change for the better: You’re worth it.

Where ya been, Albejorn?

I know, I know, I’ve been dark a long time. 2.5 years in fact! I’ve tried to start an update a few times… but haven’t been able to publish to my blog due to… reasons.

The divorce started in October of 2019. It is still ongoing, so I can’t really talk about the thing that’s impacting me the most.

I started my transition Friday the 13th, December 2019. So, that was a lot to process, on top of living alone for the first time in decades.

And then, right as I was opening up to the realization I was allowed to have friends over to my place, that I could start going to parties and socializing without having to drop everything at a moment’s notice to run home… COVID lockdown kicked into gear (and kicked me to the curb with isolation).

Soooo, I’ve been struggling. We’ve been struggling. Oh, yeah… I came to terms with being plural (having a system in my brain that’s now composed of three entities). Whoo boy.

And, yeah. Then there was the Serotonin imbalances that were nearly non-survivable. I caught the supplement that was causing it in the nick of time. >.<

Virtual Reality and VR Chat specifically have been a godsend. As have Beat Saber and the community that formed around me. Until I got injured and had to stop for months…. I do hope to get back into that at some point.

Boy do I love to dance. I created a lewd alternate account… and ended up in a number of exotic dance clubs as a dancer, instructor, and captain. 😀

I’ll type up more at some point, but I’m prepping for my first-ever Furry Weekend Atlanta! See you there in a bit if you’re going!

TACOMA (September) Pirate Ship Details

The day is upon us!

535 Dock St # 118, Tacoma, WA 98402
Try to arrive by 2-2:30 PM. It’s a busy weekend in Tacoma!
Boarding begins at 3:30 PM.
We launch at 4:00 PM SHARP! Returning 7PM.

You’ll want to take I-5 to 705, and then take a right on 4th street:

The very first huge building is the parking garage! Signs say for visitors only, but I talked to the Rock the Dock owner and they said it would be OK.

sdr

Street parking is free, but with the Pink Regatta going on it will be buuusy. I’ll have a U-Haul for changing / storing things in for people that need it.

You must sign in and get a badge and lanyard! You must be on record as either staff, or having paid for a ticket.

Additionally, we will need legal First and Last names for each passenger, to register the roster with the Coast Gaurd. This may have to be filled out, as it wasn’t information retrieved at time of purchase for group ticket sales.

You’ll get to choose from the badges that are available, at the start of the day there will be several of each character, by the end of the day, supplies will be limited.

There are no guard rails on the pier!

Please walk safe. 🙂

What to expect

  • Headless “lounge”: If you need to take your head off, Water will be stored at the center of the ship.
  • We’ll be out at sea, and it looks like it’ll be cool.
  • If you’re in human attire, dress warmly.
  • It may rain. This is Seattle. Currently it’s a 30% chance of sprinkles.
  • Water and straws will be provided, but you can bring your own.
    If you have your own food & drink, be responsible.
  • We don’t have many handlers.
    Please watch out for each other. Have a pirate buddy.
  • Mingle and chat and have fun!
    Be a pirate! 😀

AFTERWARDS

You’re welcome to join me at Rock the Dock to relax and regale each other with tails of grand adventure. 🙂 But feel free to chart your own course!

bsh

Seating is first-come first-served. We can’t move tables around, as it will be busy and they’ve already setup event service plans. So enjoy your table’s company!

Finally…

THANK YOU

Thank each and every one of you for making this an event to remember. Without your ticket purchase, I could not have made this happen.

Sincerely,

Albejron

💙💙💙

Everett Pirate Ship was a SUCCESS!

The day is upon us!

1726 W Marine View Dr, Everett, WA 98201
Try to arrive by 2:30-3:00 PM.
Boarding begins at 3:30 PM.
We launch at 4:00 PM SHARP!

You’ll want to take 18th street (red line below), which will be partially blocked off. That’s OK, just stay to the right and drive to the end. You’ll see a UHaul truck (available for changing in), that’s where we will be until 3:30.

You must sign in and get a badge and lanyard! You must be on record as either staff, or having paid for a ticket.

Additionally, we will need legal First and Last names for each passenger, to register the roster with the Coast Gaurd. This may have to be filled out, as it wasn’t information retrieved at time of purchase for group ticket sales.

You’ll get to choose from the badges that are available, at the start of the day there will be several of each character, by the end of the day, supplies will be limited.

To get to the ship (yellow star), follow the blue line above towards Anthony’s in the corner (pic below). Around back is a ramp down to Guest Pier 1!

There are no guard rails on the pier!

You can leave your head on while walking past the restaurant, but I strongly recommend taking it off once you get down the ramp.

No. Railing. On. The. Water.

What to expect

  • Headless “lounge”: If you need to take your head off, consider moving to the back of the ship, There’s a number of photographers, it’ll maximize the ‘good shots’ of those still in suit. 😉
  • We’ll be out at sea, and it looks like it’ll be cool.
    If you’re in human attire, dress warmly.
  • It may rain. This is Seattle.
    Looks like a Thunderstorm is projected for right when we return.
  • Water and straws will be provided, but you can bring your own.
    If you have your own food & drink, be responsible.
  • Half-way through will be the cannon-fire. I expect it to be LOUD. Bring ear plugs if you need them. This is also peak-drone-footage time, so be ready to lean out and cheer.
  • We don’t have many handlers.
    Please watch out for each other. Have a pirate buddy.
  • Mingle and chat and have fun!
    Be a pirate! 😀

AFTERWARDS

You’re welcome to join me at Anthony’s Woodfire Grill to relax and regale each other with tails of grand adventure. 🙂 But feel free to chart your own course!

The bar should be in happy hour mode, with cheap(er) appetizers. Seating is first-come first-served, but they said it should be fairly accomodating for a group of around 15 (that’s the count of those that indicated in the survey they were interested, anyway).

Note that this is NOT the Anthony’s we walked around, This the woodfire grill right next door:

Finally…

THANK YOU

Thank each and every one of you for making this an event to remember. Without your ticket purchase, I could not have made this happen.

Sincerely,

Albejron

💙💙💙

A new lens has appeared!

Laowa 24mm f/14 probe lens, attached to a Canon 60D
A suggestion of things to come, printed on the side of the box.

Oh my goodness. When I first saw this crazy lens, I couldn’t stop thinking about the amazing photogrammetry I could do with miniatures and small environments. I love the miniature, and this lens had so much potential.

But the initial shots seemed a bit murky. It’s too bad, because properly lit, it really seems to shine. I’ve only taken it out for a quick test, so we’ll see if my first impressions hold.

It came in an unassuming box.
Inside the case is the lens in pre-cutout foam, and two USB cables (one dimming, one not) for the extremely powerful built-in ring light..

Now, a note about macro photography: When you’re in 1:1 range, the size of the image is the size of the picture, or in other words, your picture is of something 24mmx16mm in size. Because of the optical properties of these lenses, your depth of field is tiiiiiny. So you want to increase the f-stop as much as possible to get the maximum depth of field. This means you need a LOT of light. A sunny day can be made to look dark at this point.

So it’s really cool they have so much light built-in! I also have their silly-looking macro flash with the flashes on looong flexible arms. I’ll review that some other day. 🙂

Photoshoot Time!

I went inside and grabbed the friendly #Furfest Fox. Now, keep in mind this is a small stuffed animal that fits in the palm of the hand. He barely fits in-frame at our widest setting. 🙂

The nose is approximately 15mm tall, smaller than a dime.

This is taken at the minimum “zoom” of 1:4. I’m a couple feet (1/2 meter) away.
We’re at 1:2 ratio, nice head shot!
1:1.5, starting to get awfully close.
We’re at 1:1 reproduction ratio. What you see is a postage-stamp sized reality perfectly superimposed onto the sensor. The lens itself is about a quarter-inch from the nose.

But it doesn’t stop there! This macro actually supports 2:1 reproduction ratio, or a 2x magnification of your subject. You have to get craaazy close, and that depth of field is a pain (this is all hand-held, so I need to keep the shutter high).

One heck of a booper, at 2:1 ratio.

It’s hard to overstate just how close we are. It’s nuts!

Actual-size crop of prior image.

Can’t wait to take this into the field for more forced-perspective #Micro/#Macro shots! I ALSO am planning to explore nature filming from a very low perspective, in a series I’ll be calling #SmolTime.

Fursuit Adventure: Two Tall Ships!

The time is finally upon us! After a year of coordination and help from multiple local furries, I’m proud to announce the next adventure: Two “pirate” ships commissioned to take us on an adventure out to sea on August 10th!

Tickets are LIVE! 

https://brownpapertickets.com/event/4257430

Telegram? Head on over! https://t.me/Albejorn_SeattleSuitingEvents


The Lady Washington and…

INCOMING!!

Because we’ve commissioned the two ships at the same time, we have what’s called the “Battle Charter,” which involves REAL CANNON FIRE (cannon balls not included).

Friendly Seas

Just because the ships are firing at each other, doesn’t mean we won’t have a good time aboard! Mingle with friends, make new ones, and have good-natured fun as we sail the bay.

Friendly Competition

Dress for success! Or at least the bragging rights of being best-dressed. Dress your character up as a pirate and get your photos taken by professionals!

Sea Shanties

And, what would a pirate ship be without a group of pirates roaming around singing their shanties and setting the mood?! We’ve (tentatively) hired the Seattle Seafair Pirates to regale us with their dulcet (ahem) voices. YARRR!

Are ye in?!

We certainly hope so! Ticket sales begin during, or shortly after, BLFC. I’ll update this post with a link to the ticket location, as well as send out a tweet on @albejorn.


SEE YOU THERE!

San Francisco, Here I come! (Then BLFC)

Work’s been busy! Next week I’ll be in San Francisco for the Gaming Analytics Leadership Summit (pic from the last visit).

Wednesday I’ll be looking to head out to Reno for four days of bliss in Reno Nevada, at the Biggest Little Fur Con. Maybe I can find someone to carpool with and chat along the way. 🙂

Life’s been pretty busy in other news. My eldest child (and her family of four) is moving back in from Nebraska… so we’re “evacuating” the upstairs and remodeling a few rooms to handle 7 people. On the plus side, it looks like I’m getting a back-yard studio for my art & photography!

And then there’s the events I’m coordinating: Photography Panel at BLFC, Event Running panel at BLFC, and a two-pirate-ship extravaganza in Seattle this August. So much going on, so exciting!!

Tips for Fursuit Handling

Check in with the suit of your choice every 30 minutes or so to make sure they’re staying hydrated. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the magic and forget how dehydrated one is becoming.

Talk with the fursuiter(s) you will represent. Find out what their visibility is like. Ask their fursuit name and… don’t assume the species of the suit. 😼 Find out if they will talk with the public, and if not, learn their character a bit so you can chat with the kids/parents.

Fursuits can see large poles and walls, but unusually tall curbs/steps are our bane. Lend a hand here. Also look out for waist-high or lower obstacles, such as sidewalk signs, fire hydrants (ouch), etc.

Be aware of small children in the blindspots of the fursuit (immediately in front, anywhere to the side or behind). Stop the child, or the fursuiter, to avoid kick-the-kid.

And, to belabor the point: Let the performer know when someone wants a photo-op, and where to look. People tend to stand in the periphery, which is the hardest to see.

It can also be quite hard to hear in a fursuit! Tapping the shoulder, or waving to gain attention can help. You may need to get close. If the suit doesn’t talk and you need a detailed response, lean in for a hug to give them an opportunity to reply privately.

Speaking of kids, sometimes parents try to force them to interact. Feel free to let the parents know it’s OK if the child doesn’t want to get close.

Tap the fursuiter on the shoulder if they need to pay attention (group has moved on, someone wants a photo op, etc.)

If you spot a kid with a chocolate ice cream cone racing up for a hug, feel free to step between and say something.

Tips for Public Fursuiting

Keep paws visible during photo-ops with humans.

Chat with your handler if you don’t talk in-suit, so that they know how to represent you. And how to represent what you’re doing, e.g. “A group of people with original characters that just want to make people smile and have fun.”

Kids: Parents love to force them into our arms. Do NOT hold a child, there’s just too much risk in dropping them (or anything else of value).

If your suit doesn’t talk but you need to say something to your handler, or if you want to coordinate an improv scenario with other suiters, go in for a hug! Everyone else sees the hug, but you can be covertly communicating.

If kids are scared, it can be helpful to switch into a veeeery outstretched fistbump or high-five, since they can be a lot less intimidating than being forced to hug a huge floofy creature. If they are shy and the parents are forcing them to give a hug, I find acting shy and mimicking them defuses things (hiding behind another furry and peeking out, etc.)

If a dog is getting protective/barking, avoid eye contact:  They think you’re staring them down.

Stay hydrated!

SAFETY FIRST! If you don’t feel good, take off your head. I’m all about keeping the magic, but it’s not worth risking your life over. If you do take off your head, try to stay to the periphery and talk to a handler (they can obstruct the view from kids, get you water, guide you to a place to sit down, etc.)

2018-06-30: Seattle Waterfront Fursuit Walk & Mingle

Saturday, June 30th, 2018 @5PM

This will be my first Fursuit Walk in Seattle. The weather MAY not cooperate, but after being rained out twice I’m still going to give it a shot. Who’s with me! 😛

Parking

Absolute cheapest is street parking, if you can find a spot. From B->D there’s back in parking, and there’s lots of parking under the freeway. If you want more privacy, A.1 Watermark Garage ( 1108 Western Ave, Seattle, WA ) is $12 for 4 hours, $26 until 10PM. Between the two is A.2 Waterfront Place #2, which runs $10 for weekend evening rates.

Time

5PM! I’ll be protesting earlier in the day until 3PM, and will probably arrive a bit early. We should plan for at least 2 hours in-suit, potentially 3. Up to 4 hours total for suiting up, walking, interacting, returning, desuiting.

After suiting up, we’ll meet at B The Frankfurter stand, then start moving towards C Ferris Wheel for the main traffic & interactions. I’d like to make sure we head to D Aquarium for some neat water-fountain photos before heading back.

Once we’re wrapped up, I’ll make a reservation at Pier 55 R Red Robin for those that are interested in dinner and conversation. 😊

Setting

I have not gained clearance into any buildings. Pier 57 business interiors are off limits (security informed me their cameras run facial recognition that freaks out with masks). That’s the one with the ferris wheel. I’d love to eventually get permission for the carousel, but not today.

We’ll be in an urban setting, so be prepared. The ground’s mostly even, but there are some stairs here and there. Beware of kids with ice cream, etc.

I’ll have water bottles and backpacks and long-straws for anyone that’s willing to be a handler. But don’t count on a handler being present (bring your own handler if your suit needs one).

It may start sprinkling. We’ll try to keep to some awnings for a bit if it does, and if it continues we’ll have to call it. But you may get a bit damp.

We’ll probably have a spot to take off heads if we need to, around the Aquarium, but it should be cool enough we may not bother.

Human Participants

Have a spiel ready when someone asks what we are doing. “It’s just a group that loves to suit up in custom characters, be silly, and remind kids and adults alike to have fun.”

I’d like someone to have the Accuweather Minutecast app to give us a heads up… it’s been crazy accurate for me, and will tell us if it’s getting worse or clearing up shortly.

Handlers

Check in with the suit of your choice every 30 minutes or so to make sure they’re staying hydrated.

Be aware of small children in the blindspots of the fursuit (immediately in front, anywhere to the side or behind). Stop the child, or the fursuiter, to avoid kick-the-kid.

Tap the fursuiter on the shoulder if they need to pay attention (group has moved on, someone wants a photo op, etc.)

Fursuits can see large poles and walls, but unusually tall curbs/steps are our bane. Lend a hand here.

If you spot a kid with a chocolate ice cream cone racing up for a hug, feel free to step between and say something.

Fursuiters

Kids: Parents love to force them into our arms. Sometimes switching to a veeeery outstretched fistbump or high-five can be a lot less intimidating than being forced to hug a huge floofy creature. If they are shy and the parents are forcing them to give a hug, I find acting shy and mimicking them defuses things (hiding behind another furry and peeking out, etc.)

Stay hydrated.

Keep paws visible during photo-ops with humans.

Stay hydrated.

If a dog is getting protective/barking, avoid eye contact:  They think you’re staring them down.

Stay hydrated!

SAFETY FIRST! If you don’t feel good, take off your head. I’m all about keeping the magic, but it’s not worth risking your life over. If you do take off your head, stay to the periphery.

—-

IMPORTANT: Your health and Safety are foremost. If for any reason you need help call out. DO NOT worry about breaking the magic, this is urban suiting and I’d rather try to block a child’s vision or even upset one as apposed to calling an ambulance. Seriously if you need to remove your head for any reason do so.

If you made it this far, ping me for the Telegram coordination group!